It’s been a long night and can’t stop thinking about that man. It’s not that he’s charming ...well he was and still is hehe...well he’s been using his charm on to me, and I was almost falling fro that... but that’s not it. He said something which made me revisit my feelings and thoughts. How I am proud of my country is not a question, but what have I done to my country is the question.
First thing he asked me when He found out that I'm an Indonesian was, what do you think of Australian guys? Damn I should have known that he’s going to throw the fact about my country right into my face. As he was talking, I was trying hard to control myself, and believe me it’s not easy. Who the hell is he??? I thought I’ve done my part. I thought I was careful. I thought I was different (visit my being Indonesian, blog pls). Me against all the odds.
It started with Bali, yeah Bali that exotic beautiful island. What he had thrown me was a fact. The fact that we don’t care about our country. I guess we forgot about the essential of Balinese. We forgot how we have lost the values. As life getting tougher we only think of how to earn money. Then we forget to protect the values. It is sad but it happens. How opportunists come and just take away the values we used to believe in. How much they have changed us.
These opportunists, who happen to be, well, the majority is Australian, have taken the advantage to exploit our people. How Bali, island of goddess has changed to be a sex commercial island. Opportunists come for cheap sex. As it to the locals, it’s a market. Whose fault is it? OURS!
We forgot that we let Bali become our number one income, well at least it was and still is. The rest of us seem so ignorant. We forgot to lend our supports to our dear brothers and sisters in Bali. We forgot that they struggle nights and days for us. Well we can’t deny the fact that Bali has brought back the darkness in our country especially after recession and bombings. Should be lose our values over money? So then what makes Bali, Bali? And what makes Indonesia, Indonesia? Have we lost our identity yet? True there's another oppurtunist called the local. It's sadden that the locals, locals they are not Balinese. Are they local Indonesians? sadly yes.
Where did all go? My own people has become people that easily get furious. What happened to the smiling people? What happened to our friendly people? As for ladies, life is tough but is that what we really want to teach our children? I bet the late Kartini cries to see this. When she fought the freedom for women never in her mind that this will happen. Now that we got to choose our own path, we just neglect the choices we have in life.
From the beautiful exotic Bali, we had an interesting talk about bombings. We failed to see the essentials. The court has become the number one play in our local Broadway. We failed to see that so many countries had lent their hands for us. How we just accept then close our eyes, as if nothing had happened. We failed to see how their society has been disappointed. Their disappointments have made them to believe that they should stop the aids going to Indonesia. Made them to believe that they should stop the gate between the two countries. The disappointment is so high that they’re willing to watch the bombers destroy our country.
“Well, for that you should blame the government”, I said. “Well, yes, government corrupts,” he replied. Gees is it really that remarkably substandard? What are we going to do?
It was an honest talk I must say. Make me believe that the only way out is through education. Now I’m not saying this because I’m a teacher. And I don’t think our teachers can do that. I mean, teachers have responsibilities. They got family to take care of. We need more people. We need idealists. Someone who’s not afraid. As a woman I pity my people who’s in the market. The fact that we can't count on our government, is nothing new.
So people, like it or not we got to stand together. I’m saying this to awaken us maybe others who I may not know. I’m awake now. I’m taking the step really slow and reaching my hands to you for help.
After two hours talking, he then said he has learned a lot from me. What the hell is he talking about? Then he went (well I kind of forget what he really said, but something like), I learned that in two hours I have made him see outside the box. A different fact about my country. Made him see that not all Indonesians are opportunists. Made him see that one Indonesian woman can make a difference. Made him changed, well a bit, about his stigma about Asian women in general (well I hope). I didn’t expect that from him. This guy has wrecked my feelings then yet he was able to see me more - in a person. Something that rarely would happen to my people. Then I told my self, I can make a difference. Suddenly I’m so proud of myself.
Kelapa Gading
14/01/10
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